Because Of You
by Inhuman
Summary: Song fic. Sango-centric. Suicide, slight homicide. Lost within the memories of Kohaku's death, Sango isolates herself in sorrow, and finds herself slowly going mad.


Disclaimer: Don't own it, unfortunately. Because Of You is a song by Nickelback, and thus belongs to them. Inu Yasha was created and therefore belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.

A/U: I KNOW. I KNOW. --; I should be working on AFF, but.. dude. I couldn't get the fact that I wanted to write a songfic out of my deranged peanut of a brain.

The Guy From Backstage: Yes, peanut of a brain. Finally, we agree on something.

DP365: You shut up and go away. No one likes you. --;

The Guy: Ah! But I like myself! Therefore, I am liked.

DP365: THAT. DOESN'T. COUNT.

The Guy: To me it does. :/ So screw you. Hey, I thought this was supposed to be angsty? Not humorous.

DP365: IT'S NOT HUMOROUS. Well, not to me at least. xx Anywho, going on to warnings, and then hopefully, the songfic.

Warnings: This one shot contains self mutilation, cussing, and gore. Well, not as much gore as you would think. Amazingly, I wasn't in the mood to describe the wounds very well. xx Sorry. It also contains homicide, well, sorta. But anyway, enjoy! Oh, and this isn't a warning, but this fic is in first person POV. Otherwise known as Sango's. The remembrances, though, are in 3rd person.

"Speech"

Remembrances

/Song/

-Because Of You-

It's so cold. How is it so cold, when it's in the middle of spring? God, I can't breathe. It hurts so badly.

I thought spring was the season to bring life? Why does it suddenly feel like fall? Everything's dying….

I'm dying.

/Hands on the mirror

Can't get much clearer

Can't make this all go away/

"Onnichan…."

"KOHAKU!!"

There were tears, so many tears. It was hard to see. Her eyes were so blind from all the tears. She never seemed to notice the others fighting; staring; gaping. Kohaku, what was wrong with him?

He was bleeding, mainly from his back, where a shard of the Shikon no tama kept him alive. It scared her, how he coughed up blood, eyes so weary, yet soul suddenly so pure. He looked like a child.

A dying child, who was yet to be tainted by life itself.

/Now that you're bleeding

You stare at the ceiling

And watch as it all fades away/

"Kohaku! What happened to you?!" She nearly screamed. Her voice seemed to crack as thick silence coated them all. Naraku escaped, again.

But this time, he escaped with more than just his own life.

And Sango was pissed.

But right now, was not the time to search for the bastard, and kill him. Kohaku, her Kohaku, was dying.

"Oniichan.. it hurts so badly.."

"Shhh. I know Kohaku, I know. Please, just hold on a little while longer. We're going to get you to Kaede, ok? She isn't that far away, and your wounds-" Though she tried to comfort him, she was cut off from another violent cough from the boy, blood flowing freely from his cracked lips.

/From what you do

Because of you/

The others didn't speak; she knew they wouldn't dare. She sucked in a breath when Kohaku suddenly flung his head back, and stared at her already saddened optics, seriousness etching across his pained features.

"Oniichan.. onegai.. Do me a favor."

"What… what is it, Kohaku?" Her voice came out in a shaky whisper, but she proceeded to look at him with worry, seriousness, sorrow, and even anger at the fact that he was keeping them from healing him. But even though she tried to convince herself otherwise, she knew it was impossible to save him. And from the looks of it, he knew very well, too.

"Kill me."

/You know I can't be there

Each time that you call

I swore not to come

But I'm here after all/

She wanted to scream at him, to yell and scold him for pondering of such thoughts. For thinking in such ways. But she knew very well not to. He was serious.

He was friggin' serious.

Tears continued to roll down her cheeks, past the bridge of her nose until they latched upon her lips, allowing her to taste the salty bitterness that was reality.

And she hated it.

She hated reality; the truth.

/I know by the look that I see in your eye

I won't stand around and I won't watch you die/

"K-Kohaku… why? Why can't you wait until we get there?! Why are you speaking such words?!" She choked out. Somehow, it seemed as if instead of convincing him, she was attempting to convince herself.

"Oniichan. Please. I don't have enough strength.. to kill myself. I won't make it.. you know that. Naraku's poisoned blade hit me in… the stomach. I can't.." He trailed off, coughing violently after gasping out a seemingly incoherent sentence. But Sango heard it; very well in fact.

"Kohaku.. I… I can't.. I could never-"

"Please. Oniichan. Kill me."

The words suddenly engraved themselves into her mind, and tears sprang to her eyes, her mind already emotionally scarred along with her heart. She couldn't kill him; She didn't want to.

But she had to.

For him.

/Now that you did this

You ask for forgiveness

Doctor could you be my priest/

"I'm so sorry…." The boy nodded, solemnly, a small stream of blood trickling from his mouth and dripping off his chin to the ground. The noises of the drips would haunt her forever, she knew it.

Hesitantly, she raised her sword. It's lithe silver edge gleaming in the setting sun of another spring day. Fallen cherry blossoms were lifted in the breeze, and danced gracefully around them all, as if summoning Kohaku's life away. And soon the sun disappeared fully behind the hills in the West, light slowly following it; darkness closing in.

Yet the blade continued to shine, like a beacon lighting the night; blinding the demons whom wished to claim the bloody prize under its safe caress of beauty.

/You say you're mistaken

But look what you've taken

You laugh as you lie through your teeth/

She couldn't hold back the tears; she didn't want to. And even then, Kohaku smiled warmly up to her, closing his eyes as if they were all normal. As if everything was ok.

"Oniichan. The cherry blossoms… I finally get to see them again. Spring is here. I'm so happy." He whispered, voice hoarse from misuse. "I was waiting.. so long. For spring, I mean. I wanted… to see the cherry blossoms.. with you…. but Naraku… I couldn't while I was still… under his control. I'm happy. I get to.. see them with you… just like I wanted."

Sango's lips twitched slightly, offering a small, sad smile. Even through the tears and current situation, her whisper was warm, and lulled Kohaku slightly into light sleep, though he was still perfectly conscious. He wanted to sleep.

"Yeah… With me."

/From what you do

Because of you/

Memories, the pure remembrances of the past flooded her mind, and by the smile that crossed Kohaku's face, he was remembering the past too. The past, where they could happily share their lives together, not a care, worry, frustration in the world.

The past that was so pure.

And yet so far away.

And suddenly, Sango brought down the blade. Swift and accurately it fell, mercy flowing with the aura of sorrow it emitted.

/You know I can't be there

Each time that you call

I swore not to come

But I'm here after all

I know by the look that I see in your eye

I won't stand around and I won't watch you die/

After that, was pretty much tears and blood. I remember trying to see what I did; trying to see if I actually went through with it all, but the tears blinded me. But it didn't matter, Miroku told me anyway.

I sliced right through his skull.

A clean shot, perfectly able of killing him quickly.

/From what you do/

He said that I was covered in Kohaku's blood. My sword was tainted with his brain tissue and small chips of skull bone, along with the sticky crimson fluid that made it's way upon my hands.

No matter how many times I wash my hands though….

They're still tainted with his blood.

And somehow, only I can see it.

It's driving me mad.

/Hands on the mirror

Can't get much clearer

Can't make this all go away/

Visions of his body filled my mind. At first, the tears blinded me, yes. But once I became exhausted and sick of crying, they dried.

I could see it perfectly.

And my mind is filled with pictures; visions of his body.

His hand was twisted in an unnatural position, backwards, I suppose. I don't know how his hand became injured, but I remember that part perfectly. The rest was a little more of a blur, but I can still describe it with detail.

He was kneeling when I struck him, so one of his legs must have been twisted by the force. Luckily he was already dead when it happened. But, the bone seemed to pop out slightly, and caused a small bump to form on the left of his knee, as he slanted over to his right.

His body was an odd shade of light purple mixed with white and peach. The purple, we suppose, was from the poison. The white, was because he was dead.

The worst part of him though, was the wound I made in his head. Half of it was basically cut open, but the force of the blow caused chips of his skull bone, skin, and even brain tissue to fly out. Some of it landed on me, some landed on the ground, but most was staining his face, which was in a peaceful state, by the way.

We gave him a proper burial, right next to the graves of my family, where Kohaku was when he supposedly died before.

/Now that you're bleeding

You stare at the ceiling

And watch as it all fades away/

It's only been a month, but the pictures of the past and what could've been still haunt me. And even if he did want it, even if it helped him, I still feel sick for being the murderer.

Even if it wasn't my intentions in the first place, I still feel like the murderer who took her brother's life willingly.

I kept repeating to myself that it was for him, and soon I didn't care anymore. It was his voice, his face, his smile. They drove me mad. They drove me to do this.

And I can't help but regret what I've done.

I should be with the others, planning a way to avenge my brother; to kill Naraku. But the visions only got worse each time; and then, the nightmares came.

I hate myself for leaving them, for doing this to my brother. But maybe I was never meant to be amazingly strong emotionally. Physically, I don't feel a thing. My wrists are bleeding freely, and my neck has a light cut by my bronchia tube. I'm suffocating and bleeding to death at the same time. But I don't feel a thing.

My body went numb minutes ago.

/From what you do

Because of you/

I can hear footsteps; they're running. And suddenly, the door seems to jingle like crazy as it slaps against the wall. I'm lying on the floor of this hut, my eyes glazed, staring at the ceiling. Yet with each passing second, it becomes harder to see, hear, or feel.

I can see someone's face, but I can't see who it is. I squint my eyes as much as possible, which isn't a lot. I feel too weak to do anything but lie here, even if I do regret doing this to myself.

The person seems to gasp and yell for others. It's a male's voice. I can tell by the deep masculine tone emitting from the blurred figure.

I wonder….

The figure seems to turn violently, searching for something to help, or someone.

His staff jingles.

Miroku….

/You know I can't be there

Each time that you call

I swore not to come

But I'm here after all

I know by the look that I see in your eye

I won't stand around and I won't watch you die/

His shouts seem to become more frantic. It's as if he knows I can hardly see anymore. Breathing hurts a lot more now, it's hard. Lifting my chest up and down over and over is starting to hurt me; it's becoming too heavy.

I can feel, despite the numbness, as his arms slip around me. He's mumbling something, looking down at me with what seems like saddened eyes. And now I feel a pang in my heart.

Why did I have to be alive for this moment?

/From what you do/

The darkness it embracing me more now, and I feel like saying something; doing something before I leave him. I will my arm to move, to feel again. And miraculously, it does. Pain shoots through it, and I try to ignore it as I lift my hand up to caress his cheek. I allow a small, sad smile to form on my face, and open my mouth to say something. It's harder to speak than I thought, but I'm not giving in until I say something.

Anything.

"I'm so sorry…"

/From what you do

Because of you/

"… Miroku…"

-OWARI-

DP365: Omg. I think I actually did good. Don't get me wrong, I love Sango! She's my favorite character. I just think I did a lot better with this one shot, than all my others. :D

The Guy: …. You totally ruined the mood.

DP365: oO; Eh? Oops. I'm sorry.

The Guy: Whatever. Reviews are greatly appreciated. Flames are ok too, they help to make that idiot- ::points to DP365:: -work better and actually become a decent writer.

DP365: There shall be no sequel. I do not wish to make one. And yes, for those dense ones out there, Sango did die. :/Oh, and the song was kind of confusing with the story wasn't it? Yeah well, it wasn't supposed to take place at the exact moment as certain things. n.n I like twisting it around and making you all THINK! Hahahahaha-

The Guy: --; Just review. Make her happy. That or never visit this one shot again because that's how much it sucked. Yeah, see you all later, maybe.

DP365: -hahahahahahahahahaha-

The Guy: …. God. SHUT. UP.

DP365: o-o; … Bye!

__


End file.
